87 reviews by jj..
Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego

2014-06-15
From: JJ
Comments: Where in time is Carmen Sandiego? Don't know, don't care.

Rating:



Secret Commando

2014-06-15
From: JJ
Comments: Name: Secret Commando Screenshot: Men out in the open with machine guns and lots of explosions. Someone needs to buy a dictionary and look up what "secret" means.

Rating: n/a



SpellCaster

2014-06-15
From: JJ
Comments: Some asshole keeps spamming this page with some sort of bot. Well screw you, whoever is doing this. I mean that LITERALLY. Uh! Uh! Uh! Feel it! Uh! Uh! Uh! OH YES, THIS IS BRINGING ME CLOSER TO JESUS!!1!11!one!!1!

Rating: n/a



SpellCaster

2013-01-16
From: JJ
Comments: Hello My name is Dickhead McSpammer blah blah blah husband blah blah blah magic spell blah blah priest/doctor. Fuck off.

Rating: n/a



TransBot

2013-01-16
From: JJ
Comments: I can't believe it's been ten years since I first posted a comment on this channel. Time flies when you're having fun.

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Rastan

2010-09-02
From: JJ
Comments: Jesus carried the heavy wooden up the mountain and kill.

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Ariel the Little Mermad

2010-07-13
From: JJ
Comments: Mermad? LOL. I told you she was nuts.

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New Zealand Story

2009-08-27
From: JJ
Comments: WTF? Someone's impersonating me and posting my reviews almost a year after I originally did!

Rating: n/a



Bart vs the Space Mutants

2009-03-17
From: JJ
Comments: Fart Simpson just blew his last raspberry.

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Cliffhanger

2009-03-17
From: JJ
Comments: Crap movie, crap actor, crap game.

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Golden Axe

2009-03-17
From: JJ
Comments: The ending had awesome graphics. * HEAD REMOVAL IN PROGRESS, PLEASE WAIT *

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TransBot

2007-10-21
From: JJ
Comments: I love the box cover art. They really pushed the boat out with no expenses spared, didn't they?

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Renegade

2007-10-21
From: JJ
Comments: A pretty second rate conversion.

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New Zealand Story

2007-08-30
From: JJ
Comments: Good game, but the funniest part is when he gets an arrow shot in his arse by an enemy and jumps up and down comically.

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New Zealand Story

2006-12-12
From: JJ
Comments: Good game, but the funniest part is when he gets an arrow shot in his arse by an enemy and jumps up and down comically.

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Battletoads

2006-12-12
From: JJ
Comments: Battle Turds isn't good.

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Monic Castle Dragao

2006-12-12
From: JJ
Comments: A hack of "Wonderboy in Monster Land", by persons unknown. The game itself is identical, only the hero looks like a girl and is weilding what look like a dead rabbit instead of a sword. I kid you not. Definitedly worth calling the RSPCA about, but it's weird because you can still pick up swords as bonus items, yet the dead rabbit weapon doesn't change at all, which doesn't make a lot of sense. Oh, and the graphics are awful.

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Total Recall

2006-11-17
From: JJ
Comments: Murderfuck!

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Ghouls and Ghosts

2006-04-08
From: JJ
Comments: I had a really funny experience with this game once that left me rolling around in hysterics for ages, here goes: I was on the ice level, just before that ghost house (or whatever it's called) and I'd lost my armor. I got hit in mid air by one of the enemies and my skeleton landed on one of those platforms that fall away when you touch them. It fell away and my skeleton kept bouncing up and down on top of it as it fell into the water. How more dead can a man get?

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Micheal Jacksons Moonwalker

2006-04-08
From: JJ
Comments: Moon Wanker isn't good.

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Great Football

2005-08-29
From: JJ
Comments: What's so god-damned "great" about it ?

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Predator 2

2004-12-26
From: JJ
Comments: I've played this game and like...where's the fucking predator ?

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The Ninja

2004-11-02
From: JJ
Comments: I'M GAY ANY ONE WANNA SUCK MY BALLS?HOW ABOUT FUCKING ME UP MY ASS. NO? I'LL SUCK COOK. OR IF I'M WANT IT SO BAD I PUT MY INTO MY MOM;S SOFT WET SEXY PUSSY AND SUCK HER TITS AND FUCK HER IN HER ASS SHE IS ONE SEXY HOT BITCH WITH BIG BOOBS AND A WARM PUSSY

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Zool

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Zool ? Fool, more like.

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Zaxxon 3-D

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: What an overrated pile of shat. I must have wasted tons of cash on this game at the arcade.

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Alien Syndrome

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: After half an hour playing this, you begin to wonder if ASPERGERS SYNDROME would have been a better title.

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Rastan

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Huh ? WTF is going on ? I never posted that last question !!! Someone is impersonating me.

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Double Dragon

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Has anyone realised how much the plot from DD rips off Hokuto No Ken ?

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Parlour Games

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Am I the only one who wants to shag that blonde on the title screen ?

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Pro Wrestling

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Why has that guy in the picture pulled his own head off ?

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Super Monaco GP

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Speaking of grand prixs, I once saw this funny indy car accident that happened in the pits. This guy was refueling the car and accidently sprayed fuel all over the car and over the driver and it ignited. As you know, indy cars run on methylated spirits, which burns with an invisible flame, so you had no idea it was actually on fire. All you saw was the driver suddenly jump out of his car and start running around like a twat for no apparent reason. Truly hilarious.

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Wonder Boy

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: I nominate this game for the "shittiest cover art" award.

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Wonder Boy in Monster Land

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: That guy is holding his shield wrong too. And why has it got a picture of a red screw on it ?

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Kings Quest

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Would you believe that some sicko has got a website with a complete list of death sequences for this game ? "The many deaths of..." it was called, or something similar.

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American Baseball

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Baseball is a shit game.

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Alex Kidd in High Tech World

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: It really pisses me off when people call him "Alex the Kidd" instead of "Alex Kidd". Idiots. Piranhaman. I know the .gif you mean. That "sucking dicks" thing was hillarious.

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Dick Tracy

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: They got the "dick" part right.

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Slap Shot

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Why is Jason Vorhees in this game ?

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Rainbow Islands

2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Did anyone know that the sound track to this is actually illegal (copyright violation) ? They had to change it for the PSX version.

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Enduro Racer

2004-02-02
From: JJ
Comments: I love watching people fall off bikes, especially when cornering so they go sliding off and hit the wall. Hilarious.

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Simpsons Vs. Space Mutants

2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Eat my shorts.

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Strider

2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen. There was a cat that really was gone.

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Paperboy

2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Screech ! *Thud* Roley poley.

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Castle of Illusion

2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Mickey Mouse in his house, pulling down his trousers...

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Choplifter

2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: It was ages before I realised that the things that shot at you from the ground were actually missile launchers and not TV sets.

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Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story

2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: No, Mr white man, only one from column A and one from column B. Waaaaaaaahhh !

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Dick Tracy

2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Time for one of those "Mind if I call you DICK ?" jokes.

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Mortal Kombat

2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Your heads need removing from your bodies. Sub-zero style.

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Wonder Boy in Monster Land

2003-12-28
From: JJ
Comments: That guy on the front cover scares me. Not only does he look gayer than Transbot, he seems to be enjoying hacking apart that poor man with his sword a little too much.

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Lord of the Sword

2003-12-28
From: JJ
Comments: Bored of the Sword.

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Robocop 3

2003-12-28
From: JJ
Comments: ROBOFLOP 3 What a sucky game. The film sucked too.

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Great Volleyball

2003-07-26
From: JJ
Comments: It isn't.

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The Lion King

2003-07-26
From: JJ
Comments: The film was Bambi all over again. The game was Aladin all over again.

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Rambo III

2003-07-08
From: JJ
Comments: Crap film. Crap actor. Crap game.

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Hook

2003-07-08
From: JJ
Comments: "Hook" ? "Fuck", more like.

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Montezumas Revenge

2003-07-08
From: JJ
Comments: "Panama Joe" ? Who's that meant to be a rip of off I wonder...? ...I've got it : Batman !

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Castle of Illusion

2003-07-08
From: JJ
Comments: Castle of Homosexuality

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Alien Syndrome

2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: I actually beat this game once!! All that work to beat this hard ass game, and all I get is a little text and a congratulations message, no nifty ending or anything! It was quite a while ago, and I am afraid to attempt it again, this game frustrates the hell out of me. Good game, very difficult(they dont make games hard like they used to, do they?) and the higher levels have some pretty cool looking aliens. Just another notch for my controller, no desire to play this one anymore.

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Montezumas Revenge

2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: God this game blew, I still own the original cart for collector's purposes. Man, Parker Bros did not need to make games for the SMS, all their games sucked, like this one, Carmen Sandiego, etc. This is a game for atari or something, Parker Bros was not able to tap into the full potential of the SMS with their games.

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Aztec Adventure

2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: This game was hard, which I like, but was very cool, neat graphics and decent music. I beat it a few times. It had great replay value because it could still be challenging at times, but really once you mastered it, it wasnt very difficult. Definately a classic.

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Wonder Boy

2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: Glad after this game was put out that West One bought the Wonderboy name, otherwise this little cave dude would not have changed into an armored knight of legend in the sequels. I hated this game, but the sequels were bad ass, thanks West One for making Wonderboy cool!

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SpellCaster

2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: Cool game, I managed to play all the way through it, was sort of fun, but I was not impressed, and I would not call this a classic. I found it to do a poor job of trying to mix sidescrolling action with rpg, and graphics in the sidescrolling sequences could have been better. I did like the end boss though, where its like a space shooter like Astro Warrior cuz you are flying around and shit. I do recommend it for anyone who likes RPGs but wants to try something quite different from the norm, however dont expect to be impressed.

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Space Harrier

2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: I was able to get to the final boss back in the day, fiery dude or something, but never beat him. Now with emulators and roms, I was able to beat it easy by using save states. Definately a classic, I think I played this game more than any other SMS game I had. Sega is supposed to be making a remake of this game and many other old Arcade/SMS titles for the PS2, and will be calling them the "Sega Ages" collection or something like that.

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Shinobi

2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: Good game, loved it, although ending was weak. About the comments of NES beating the SMS, it only beat the SMS in the USA. SMS kicked the shit out of NES in Europe, and South America as well I think. SMS was a superior system, had a larger palatte, meaning more colorful, meaning better graphics, and had better sound, just compare the tech specs of both systems. NES monopolized on game developers by requiring developers such as Konami to sign a contract stating that they would only develop games for their system. Most NES games look half assed compared to SMS games(play castlevania or metroid for example, only 2 colors are used for the character and detail is low, where SMS characters are much more detailed and colorful, such as in Zillion, Space Harrier, etc).

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Rocky

2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: This game ruled, Apollo was a pussy, Mr T was kinda tough, but I could never seem to beat that fucking russian prick.

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E-Swat

2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: Dont bother with this one, just get the one for genesis, much better looking.

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Aztec Adventure

2003-03-17
From: JJ
Comments: For the MS, this game REALLY has problems. And not just gameplay!

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Micheal Jacksons Moonwalker

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Nice game, but he messes with kids ! Owwww !

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Battle Out Run

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Hahahaha the guy in the Miami level looks like Mr T off the A Team !

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Black Belt

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Get the 'Fist of the North Star' version, not the 'Black Belt' version. It's better and more challenging and runs true to the manga series. It is better than bloody Kung Fu ! Aatatatatatat !!!

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Prince of Persia

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: It's so funny when he gets impaled on spikes. LOL !

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Paperboy

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Getting run over by cars is funny.

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Shinobi

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: The last boss is a bit of a dissapointment.

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Star Wars

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Luke, I am your overused plot device !

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Rastan

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Nice game, kinda reminds me of He-man

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Impossible Mission

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Crap compared to the sequel.

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Aztec Adventure

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Th1s Ga/\/\e OwNz U.

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California Games

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: DONT FEED THE BEARS

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Golden Axe

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: The king of games ! Check out the graphics at the end ! It was hard to believe it was a MS game !

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Thunder Blade

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Too hard.

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Lemmings

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: OH NO

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Sonic the Hedgehog

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Th1s Ga/\/\e = OwNz

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TransBot

2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Your skeleton needs kicking off !

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Sonic the Hedgehog

2002-09-21
From: JJ
Comments: This game is by far the best on the MS. My childhood revolved around Sonic and Ive played all the Sonic games! gr8!

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Sonic the Hedgehog 2

2002-09-21
From: JJ
Comments: Sonic rulz! Always has and always will do! Who do you prefer, a fast spikey blue hedgehog that kicks ass or a little plumber who kicks turtle shells around for a living?

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Kung Fu Kid

2002-08-08
From: jj
Comments:

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Alex Kidd in Miracle World

2001-06-16
From: jj
Comments: jj

Rating: