2023-11-06
From: JJ
Comments: Oh shit! I've got an atmosphere processor! Now I have to reload the game!
Rating:
Klax
2023-11-06
From: JJ
Comments: Oh shit! I've got an atmosphere processor! Now I have to reload the game!
Rating:
Sonic the Hedgehog
2023-11-06
From: JJ
Comments: Hello everyone! It's been over two decades since I first found this website, but I'm still alive! Let's see if I make it three! Anyway, here's to the best game on the Master System! I still think the last level of this is better than the Genesis version.
Rating:
Rastan
2022-01-06
From: JJ
Comments: Hello kids. I'm still here. Over 20 years since I first posted on this site. Unbelievable.
Rating:
Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego
2014-06-15
From: JJ
Comments: Where in time is Carmen Sandiego? Don't know, don't care.
Rating:
Secret Commando
2014-06-15
From: JJ
Comments: Name: Secret Commando Screenshot: Men out in the open with machine guns and lots of explosions. Someone needs to buy a dictionary and look up what "secret" means.
Rating: n/a
SpellCaster
2014-06-15
From: JJ
Comments: Some asshole keeps spamming this page with some sort of bot. Well screw you, whoever is doing this. I mean that LITERALLY. Uh! Uh! Uh! Feel it! Uh! Uh! Uh! OH YES, THIS IS BRINGING ME CLOSER TO JESUS!!1!11!one!!1!
Rating: n/a
SpellCaster
2013-01-16
From: JJ
Comments: Hello My name is Dickhead McSpammer blah blah blah husband blah blah blah magic spell blah blah priest/doctor. Fuck off.
Rating: n/a
TransBot
2013-01-16
From: JJ
Comments: I can't believe it's been ten years since I first posted a comment on this channel. Time flies when you're having fun.
Rating:
Rastan
2010-09-02
From: JJ
Comments: Jesus carried the heavy wooden up the mountain and kill.
Rating:
Ariel the Little Mermad
2010-07-13
From: JJ
Comments: Mermad? LOL. I told you she was nuts.
Rating:
New Zealand Story
2009-08-27
From: JJ
Comments: WTF? Someone's impersonating me and posting my reviews almost a year after I originally did!
Rating: n/a
Bart vs the Space Mutants
2009-03-17
From: JJ
Comments: Fart Simpson just blew his last raspberry.
Rating:
Cliffhanger
2009-03-17
From: JJ
Comments: Crap movie, crap actor, crap game.
Rating:
Golden Axe
2009-03-17
From: JJ
Comments: The ending had awesome graphics. * HEAD REMOVAL IN PROGRESS, PLEASE WAIT *
Rating:
TransBot
2007-10-21
From: JJ
Comments: I love the box cover art. They really pushed the boat out with no expenses spared, didn't they?
Rating:
Renegade
2007-10-21
From: JJ
Comments: A pretty second rate conversion.
Rating:
New Zealand Story
2007-08-30
From: JJ
Comments: Good game, but the funniest part is when he gets an arrow shot in his arse by an enemy and jumps up and down comically.
Rating:
New Zealand Story
2006-12-12
From: JJ
Comments: Good game, but the funniest part is when he gets an arrow shot in his arse by an enemy and jumps up and down comically.
Rating:
Battletoads
2006-12-12
From: JJ
Comments: Battle Turds isn't good.
Rating:
Monic Castle Dragao
2006-12-12
From: JJ
Comments: A hack of "Wonderboy in Monster Land", by persons unknown. The game itself is identical, only the hero looks like a girl and is weilding what look like a dead rabbit instead of a sword. I kid you not. Definitedly worth calling the RSPCA about, but it's weird because you can still pick up swords as bonus items, yet the dead rabbit weapon doesn't change at all, which doesn't make a lot of sense. Oh, and the graphics are awful.
Rating:
Total Recall
2006-11-17
From: JJ
Comments: Murderfuck!
Rating:
Ghouls and Ghosts
2006-04-08
From: JJ
Comments: I had a really funny experience with this game once that left me rolling around in hysterics for ages, here goes: I was on the ice level, just before that ghost house (or whatever it's called) and I'd lost my armor. I got hit in mid air by one of the enemies and my skeleton landed on one of those platforms that fall away when you touch them. It fell away and my skeleton kept bouncing up and down on top of it as it fell into the water. How more dead can a man get?
Rating:
Micheal Jacksons Moonwalker
2006-04-08
From: JJ
Comments: Moon Wanker isn't good.
Rating:
Great Football
2005-08-29
From: JJ
Comments: What's so god-damned "great" about it ?
Rating:
Predator 2
2004-12-26
From: JJ
Comments: I've played this game and like...where's the fucking predator ?
Rating:
The Ninja
2004-11-02
From: JJ
Comments: I'M GAY ANY ONE WANNA SUCK MY BALLS?HOW ABOUT FUCKING ME UP MY ASS. NO? I'LL SUCK COOK. OR IF I'M WANT IT SO BAD I PUT MY INTO MY MOM;S SOFT WET SEXY PUSSY AND SUCK HER TITS AND FUCK HER IN HER ASS SHE IS ONE SEXY HOT BITCH WITH BIG BOOBS AND A WARM PUSSY
Rating:
Zool
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Zool ? Fool, more like.
Rating:
Zaxxon 3-D
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: What an overrated pile of shat. I must have wasted tons of cash on this game at the arcade.
Rating:
Alien Syndrome
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: After half an hour playing this, you begin to wonder if ASPERGERS SYNDROME would have been a better title.
Rating:
Rastan
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Huh ? WTF is going on ? I never posted that last question !!! Someone is impersonating me.
Rating:
Double Dragon
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Has anyone realised how much the plot from DD rips off Hokuto No Ken ?
Rating:
Parlour Games
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Am I the only one who wants to shag that blonde on the title screen ?
Rating:
Pro Wrestling
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Why has that guy in the picture pulled his own head off ?
Rating:
Super Monaco GP
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Speaking of grand prixs, I once saw this funny indy car accident that happened in the pits. This guy was refueling the car and accidently sprayed fuel all over the car and over the driver and it ignited. As you know, indy cars run on methylated spirits, which burns with an invisible flame, so you had no idea it was actually on fire. All you saw was the driver suddenly jump out of his car and start running around like a twat for no apparent reason. Truly hilarious.
Rating:
Wonder Boy
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: I nominate this game for the "shittiest cover art" award.
Rating:
Wonder Boy in Monster Land
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: That guy is holding his shield wrong too. And why has it got a picture of a red screw on it ?
Rating:
Kings Quest
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Would you believe that some sicko has got a website with a complete list of death sequences for this game ? "The many deaths of..." it was called, or something similar.
Rating:
American Baseball
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Baseball is a shit game.
Rating:
Alex Kidd in High Tech World
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: It really pisses me off when people call him "Alex the Kidd" instead of "Alex Kidd". Idiots. Piranhaman. I know the .gif you mean. That "sucking dicks" thing was hillarious.
Rating:
Dick Tracy
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: They got the "dick" part right.
Rating:
Slap Shot
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Why is Jason Vorhees in this game ?
Rating:
Rainbow Islands
2004-05-28
From: JJ
Comments: Did anyone know that the sound track to this is actually illegal (copyright violation) ? They had to change it for the PSX version.
Rating:
Enduro Racer
2004-02-02
From: JJ
Comments: I love watching people fall off bikes, especially when cornering so they go sliding off and hit the wall. Hilarious.
Rating:
Simpsons Vs. Space Mutants
2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Eat my shorts.
Rating:
Strider
2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen. There was a cat that really was gone.
Rating:
Paperboy
2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Screech ! *Thud* Roley poley.
Rating:
Castle of Illusion
2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Mickey Mouse in his house, pulling down his trousers...
Rating:
Choplifter
2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: It was ages before I realised that the things that shot at you from the ground were actually missile launchers and not TV sets.
Rating:
Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: No, Mr white man, only one from column A and one from column B. Waaaaaaaahhh !
Rating:
Dick Tracy
2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Time for one of those "Mind if I call you DICK ?" jokes.
Rating:
Mortal Kombat
2003-12-30
From: JJ
Comments: Your heads need removing from your bodies. Sub-zero style.
Rating:
Wonder Boy in Monster Land
2003-12-28
From: JJ
Comments: That guy on the front cover scares me. Not only does he look gayer than Transbot, he seems to be enjoying hacking apart that poor man with his sword a little too much.
Rating:
Lord of the Sword
2003-12-28
From: JJ
Comments: Bored of the Sword.
Rating:
Robocop 3
2003-12-28
From: JJ
Comments: ROBOFLOP 3 What a sucky game. The film sucked too.
Rating:
Great Volleyball
2003-07-26
From: JJ
Comments: It isn't.
Rating:
The Lion King
2003-07-26
From: JJ
Comments: The film was Bambi all over again. The game was Aladin all over again.
Rating:
Rambo III
2003-07-08
From: JJ
Comments: Crap film. Crap actor. Crap game.
Rating:
Hook
2003-07-08
From: JJ
Comments: "Hook" ? "Fuck", more like.
Rating:
Montezumas Revenge
2003-07-08
From: JJ
Comments: "Panama Joe" ? Who's that meant to be a rip of off I wonder...? ...I've got it : Batman !
Rating:
Castle of Illusion
2003-07-08
From: JJ
Comments: Castle of Homosexuality
Rating:
Alien Syndrome
2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: I actually beat this game once!! All that work to beat this hard ass game, and all I get is a little text and a congratulations message, no nifty ending or anything! It was quite a while ago, and I am afraid to attempt it again, this game frustrates the hell out of me. Good game, very difficult(they dont make games hard like they used to, do they?) and the higher levels have some pretty cool looking aliens. Just another notch for my controller, no desire to play this one anymore.
Rating:
Montezumas Revenge
2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: God this game blew, I still own the original cart for collector's purposes. Man, Parker Bros did not need to make games for the SMS, all their games sucked, like this one, Carmen Sandiego, etc. This is a game for atari or something, Parker Bros was not able to tap into the full potential of the SMS with their games.
Rating:
Aztec Adventure
2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: This game was hard, which I like, but was very cool, neat graphics and decent music. I beat it a few times. It had great replay value because it could still be challenging at times, but really once you mastered it, it wasnt very difficult. Definately a classic.
Rating:
Wonder Boy
2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: Glad after this game was put out that West One bought the Wonderboy name, otherwise this little cave dude would not have changed into an armored knight of legend in the sequels. I hated this game, but the sequels were bad ass, thanks West One for making Wonderboy cool!
Rating:
SpellCaster
2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: Cool game, I managed to play all the way through it, was sort of fun, but I was not impressed, and I would not call this a classic. I found it to do a poor job of trying to mix sidescrolling action with rpg, and graphics in the sidescrolling sequences could have been better. I did like the end boss though, where its like a space shooter like Astro Warrior cuz you are flying around and shit. I do recommend it for anyone who likes RPGs but wants to try something quite different from the norm, however dont expect to be impressed.
Rating:
Space Harrier
2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: I was able to get to the final boss back in the day, fiery dude or something, but never beat him. Now with emulators and roms, I was able to beat it easy by using save states. Definately a classic, I think I played this game more than any other SMS game I had. Sega is supposed to be making a remake of this game and many other old Arcade/SMS titles for the PS2, and will be calling them the "Sega Ages" collection or something like that.
Rating:
Shinobi
2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: Good game, loved it, although ending was weak. About the comments of NES beating the SMS, it only beat the SMS in the USA. SMS kicked the shit out of NES in Europe, and South America as well I think. SMS was a superior system, had a larger palatte, meaning more colorful, meaning better graphics, and had better sound, just compare the tech specs of both systems. NES monopolized on game developers by requiring developers such as Konami to sign a contract stating that they would only develop games for their system. Most NES games look half assed compared to SMS games(play castlevania or metroid for example, only 2 colors are used for the character and detail is low, where SMS characters are much more detailed and colorful, such as in Zillion, Space Harrier, etc).
Rating:
Rocky
2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: This game ruled, Apollo was a pussy, Mr T was kinda tough, but I could never seem to beat that fucking russian prick.
Rating:
E-Swat
2003-06-20
From: JJ
Comments: Dont bother with this one, just get the one for genesis, much better looking.
Rating:
Aztec Adventure
2003-03-17
From: JJ
Comments: For the MS, this game REALLY has problems. And not just gameplay!
Rating:
Micheal Jacksons Moonwalker
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Nice game, but he messes with kids ! Owwww !
Rating:
Battle Out Run
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Hahahaha the guy in the Miami level looks like Mr T off the A Team !
Rating:
Black Belt
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Get the 'Fist of the North Star' version, not the 'Black Belt' version. It's better and more challenging and runs true to the manga series. It is better than bloody Kung Fu ! Aatatatatatat !!!
Rating:
Prince of Persia
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: It's so funny when he gets impaled on spikes. LOL !
Rating:
Paperboy
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Getting run over by cars is funny.
Rating:
Shinobi
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: The last boss is a bit of a dissapointment.
Rating:
Star Wars
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Luke, I am your overused plot device !
Rating:
Rastan
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Nice game, kinda reminds me of He-man
Rating:
Impossible Mission
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Crap compared to the sequel.
Rating:
Aztec Adventure
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Th1s Ga/\/\e OwNz U.
Rating:
California Games
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: DONT FEED THE BEARS
Rating:
Golden Axe
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: The king of games ! Check out the graphics at the end ! It was hard to believe it was a MS game !
Rating:
Thunder Blade
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Too hard.
Rating:
Lemmings
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: OH NO
Rating:
Sonic the Hedgehog
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Th1s Ga/\/\e = OwNz
Rating:
TransBot
2003-02-25
From: JJ
Comments: Your skeleton needs kicking off !
Rating:
Sonic the Hedgehog
2002-09-21
From: JJ
Comments: This game is by far the best on the MS. My childhood revolved around Sonic and Ive played all the Sonic games! gr8!
Rating:
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
2002-09-21
From: JJ
Comments: Sonic rulz! Always has and always will do! Who do you prefer, a fast spikey blue hedgehog that kicks ass or a little plumber who kicks turtle shells around for a living?
Rating:
Kung Fu Kid
2002-08-08
From: jj
Comments:
Rating:
Alex Kidd in Miracle World
2001-06-16
From: jj
Comments: jj
Rating: