Montezumas Revenge

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[?] - published by SEGA. Average Reader Rating: 7.00

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2013-03-26
From: BluBlaDe   (
more)
Comments: fuck off both of you

Rating: n/a

2013-03-25
From: Sam   (
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Comments: Alex always had the shit noodles, but Sean always used the little pan. Fuck them both. Especially Sean. Actually, Only Sean. Alex is a pretty nice guy. I once refused to buy a television set from Comet because it looked a bit like Sean. No wonder they went into administration. Cunts!

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2012-10-31
From: Peter   (
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Comments: No imagination? I spent years imagining that Natalie was an attractive woman every time I had to put the wood to her. FYI regarding fat chicks: they're insatiable. Bitch drained my nuts!

Rating: n/a

2012-08-24
From: BluBlaDe   (
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Comments: You really have no imagination Peter. Go back to fucking that Natalie fat cunt whore bitch.

Rating: n/a

2012-07-28
From: Peter   (
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Comments: Are you starting this shit again, Paul? YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT THIS GAME ISN'T ABOUT DIARRHEA! There's a fucking picture of the box up there, dipshit! I don't see a shit geyser on it, or a fucking Tums tablet! You really are a jackass, you know that?

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2012-07-28
From: Paul   (
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Comments: An odd game in the vein of "Cool Spot" and the like. With its none-too-subtle allusion to the usually explosive and fluid diarrhea endemic to most of Mexico, it should come as no surprise that this game is little more than a product placement vehicle for Tums antacid tablets. The gameplay actually isn't that bad, but the challenge just isn't good enough to overcome the blatant shilling that the game represents.

Rating: n/a

2012-07-27
From: Natalie   (
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Comments: I had totally forgotten about that! My mom almost caught us! Anyways, yeah, you knew how to bring it, Peter, unless you were drunk. Of course, that happened more and more as time went on, but I don't want to get into that.

Rating: n/a

2012-07-27
From: Peter   (
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Comments: I'm sorry, Natalie. You're right. Your cunt isn't that big. I mean, hell, we couldn't even get that corncob up there after your dad's retirement party barbecue! If you're right about that, you're right about my dick, too. I knew how to slam it right, though, didn't I babe?

Rating: n/a

2012-07-27
From: Natalie   (
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Comments: Peter, anal sex always hurts (unless you're some used up porn skank with years of practice) but that had nothing to do with why you only got to do my butt on your birthday. The real reason? IT IS GROSS! I also don't know why you're being such a jerk just because I pointed out that your dick isn't that big. I was nothing but civil in my post and I'll thank you to be the same. Plus, my pussy's not that loose; I certainly don't remember any complaints from anybody about it. I'll say this one more time: your dick is average. Average length. Average thickness or whatever you want to call it. Girth, volume, whatever. It's average.

Rating: n/a

2012-07-27
From: Peter   (
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Comments: Just 'cause it rattled around your horse cunt doesn't mean it ain't big! Bitch, please! I'm not saying it's long, but you knew well THE THICKNESS! Shit, why else wouldn't you let me in your tight ass more often? Because it would hurt like fuck, that's why!

Rating: n/a

2012-07-27
From: Natalie   (
more)
Comments: Peter, stop telling lies like that. No one believes them. Your dick is not that big. It just isn't. I know I told you it was while we were dating, but that's just something girls do to make their guys feel better. You're quite average, frankly. In most respects, for that matter. As for the "doctor sucked me off" part, well, I know that's true because my friend Becky knows one of the nurses who works at the clinic and word got around pretty quickly that day about Dr. Chow blowing some guy and the next thing I know is that she's (Becky) is telling me that it was you! I was pissed, but I never liked blowjobs, so whatever. Water under the bridge, Peter. Just so you know, she sucks a lot of dicks at the clinic, so don't feel special or anything. She sure as hell wasn't enthralled by the size of your dick! It's a nice one, Peter, it is, but it's nothing special.

Rating: n/a

2012-07-27
From: Peter   (
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Comments: Yeah, Mark? Dude, you're gay. Nothing wrong with that, but there's no point for you to fight it any longer. Doesn't matter if the doctor was a chick or not, you got aroused by someone's fingers being in your ass. That's gay, brother. Again, it's okay to be gay nowadays, so roll with it. Look, I've had prostate exams, too. Never got aroused. Last one, the doctor was a woman, kind of hot, too (and Asian). Nothing. Not a twitch. Not a tingle. Nothing. Same exam, hernia check: giant, throbbing boner. So giant and so throbbing, in fact, that the doctor could not deny herself the pleasure of taking my magnificent rod into her mouth and, thus, pleasured me orally until my inevitable, explosive climax. But I digress....The point is, you gay, me not.

Rating: n/a

2011-12-04
From: Blublade   (
more)
Comments: Look dude I'm sorry but no matter how you look at it the ass is for taking a shit. It is not a sexual organ. Only homosexuals and closet homos uses it. Scato too.

Rating: n/a

2011-05-12
From: Mark   (
more)
Comments: I'm a fairly young guy, yet, but I had to get a prostate exam a few years back as part of a preemployment physical. Anyway, the doctor that had to do it was a forty-something lady, kinda cute in a milf sort of way, and when her finger went in the ol' poopchute, I must admit it was more than a little arousing. I'm pretty sure it was because she was a woman poking my ass and not just anyone poking my ass.

Rating: n/a

2011-04-25
From: Paul   (
more)
Comments: Sad news to report, Panama Joe died of AIDS recently in a Panama City hospice. At his side till the end was his pet monkey Bobo which, incidentally, is also a patient at the hospice.

Rating: n/a

2008-08-10
From: Swift   (
more)
Comments: An adventure for the master system...cool...to bad I never seen it. sure want to buy it.

Rating: n/a

2008-08-08
From: Dan   (
more)
Comments: Heh heh. M.Z.= DIARHEA! HA HA HA! Ya see, kiddies, that revenge stuff ain't Jell-o pudding! It's diarhea! HA HA HA!

Rating: n/a

2007-11-19
From:
fds  (more)
Comments: I got that game for my game boy.

Rating:

2007-03-18
From: Drewmeister   (
more)
Comments: Does like anyone still go to this site anymore? I haven't been on since, well, September. I'll make sure to come back more regularly. I guess I should leave a shout out to Pete, Classic Comments, Danny, hmm SMSM Fan, Proper Grammar, and that other guy, Cunning Linguist or something like that.

Rating: n/a

2006-09-10
From: SMSM Fan   (
more)
Comments: Thanks for sharing yet another one of your meaningless opinions, Drew. I'll make sure to post some of your "Classic Comments" should they ever get "accidently" deleted.

Rating: n/a

2006-09-10
From: Drew Meister   (
more)
Comments: I thought all of those 'recent comments' would be half intersting. You got my hopes up for nothing yet again CC.

Rating: n/a

2006-09-08
From: Classic Comment   (
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Comments: 2005-08-16 From: JJ (more) Comments: Isn't "montezuma's revenge" a slang name for having the shits ? What idiot names their game after explosive diahorrea ?

Rating: n/a

2006-09-08
From: Classic Comment   (
more)
Comments: 2005-08-16 From: Peter (more) Comments: The same idiots that made this awful game.

Rating: n/a

2006-09-08
From: Classic Comment   (
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Comments: 2005-02-15 From: pondermuffin (more) Comments: Are not we ALL stuck here in THIS game? Escape, for the time of Kali in upon us.

Rating: n/a

2006-09-08
From: Classic Comment   (
more)
Comments: 2004-10-09 From: the voices!!!! (more) Comments: how many will die for the monkey's lies??? watch yourself, monkey. if our paths cross, you die!!

Rating: n/a

2006-09-08
From: Classic Comment   (
more)
Comments: 2004-01-20 From: the voices!!!! (more) Comments: a blanket made of sadness will not keep you warm

Rating: n/a

2006-09-08
From: Classic Comment   (
more)
Comments: 2002-12-15 From: Pud (more) Comments: Just downloaded the ROM for this game. The control fucking sucks! I cant get Panama Jack to jump right. One time he goes airbourne like Micheal Jordan the other time he tanks into a pit of hot lava. This game is quite typical actually, a haunted temple filled with bouncing skulls and pits of lava. It reminds me of tales of adventures in some crazy foreign land. Hey, Panama Jack, go get a gun and fucking waste the bastards. Yo, you the man Jack! Peace Out ~ Pud.

Rating: n/a

2006-09-08
From: Classic Comment   (
more)
Comments: 2002-11-20 From: jeremy (more) Comments: Ha ha, another funny title. I never played this one, but the imperialist overtones, along with the title being a slang for diarrhea makes me think it's a shitty game! Ha.

Rating: n/a

2006-07-05
From: Sam   (
more)
Comments: Peter when is your birthday?

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2006-05-05
From: Sam   (
more)
Comments: We all know why we are here, and i belive we all know what needs to be done. But i think its best we dont talk out loud about it, untill we have most of them on the trains and heading to the camps.

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2006-03-04
From: diarrhea cha ch   (
more)
Comments: OMG A GAME NAMED AFTER A DISEASE CAUSING DIARRHEA! YES THIS HAS TO BE GOOD :D

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2006-02-07
From: Montezuma   (
more)
Comments: Allright! guess I'm now the moderator of this board since afterall it is about me and no ones posted since around 2005!!!!!! I have an old Atari 800xl and 2 drives and the game but unfortunatley neither of the drives work anymore... Loved this game! Where can i play it online or D/l it!! Write or be cursed by me!! Montezuma!!!

Rating:

2005-11-14
From: Roc Doc   (
more)
Comments: Hi, would love to chat with any girls who play this game? I am an older married white male who would love to hook up with a girl. My wife cannot find out, please email rnrdrx10@yahoo.com thank you, Roc Doc.

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2004-11-05
From: sonic   (
more)
Comments: this is ok

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2004-11-05
From: panama joespeh   (
more)
Comments: im still stuck here in this game.

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2004-08-07
From:
paul frith  (more)
Comments: i have this top game boxed any buyers?

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2004-05-05
From:
MASTER  (more)
Comments: I love this game, I need this game! Contact me If you sell it!

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2004-03-04
From: Jnerd   (
more)
Comments: If you want to play a cheesy adventure game play on the SMS play "Zillion" not this game. If you want to play the greatest adventure game on a game console then "Adventure" for the Atari 2600 was the best game ever. With the three dragons and that stupid bat who kept stealing my key!!

Rating:

2004-02-13
From: Pud   (
more)
Comments: As I am chronicly unemployed, because I cannot hold a job I am relagated to play this game for hours on end. To be honest, playing this for 20 hours straight gives me nightmares when I close my eyes.... EEEk... bouncing skulls.... giant fucking spiders..... and all I can do is jump... very scary.... Then I wake up...

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2003-10-22
From: Jseus   (
more)
Comments: Thsi game was better that any recent games it hsas amazing graphics

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2003-07-08
From: JJ   (
more)
Comments: "Panama Joe" ? Who's that meant to be a rip of off I wonder...? ...I've got it : Batman !

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2003-06-20
From: JJ   (
more)
Comments: God this game blew, I still own the original cart for collector's purposes. Man, Parker Bros did not need to make games for the SMS, all their games sucked, like this one, Carmen Sandiego, etc. This is a game for atari or something, Parker Bros was not able to tap into the full potential of the SMS with their games.

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2003-04-25
From: Wi Wi Jumbo   (
more)
Comments: I played this game recently via an emulator and I'm sorry I did. Never before had a Master System game made me wish my old Atari 2600 still worked. Pit Fall is clearly superior to this turd, and that is sad, very sad. I love the SMS, but to put this game on the market alongside games like Space Harrier or Zillion was a slap in the face.

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2002-10-10
From: secsspos   (
more)
Comments: A very difficult game, very hard to jump over things, stay more than a minute or two in the room and a bat will take you away and you lose a life, too long, almost impossible to beat. Better off playing Indiana Jones than this one.

Rating:

2002-09-21
From:
tish  (more)
Comments: i haven't played this game since i was in the sixth grade. i loved it so much and would really like to be able to play it online but haven't been able to download. can someone help.please.

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2002-02-26
From: keith   (
more)
Comments: the best game

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2001-11-08
From: Jenny   (
more)
Comments: I use to play this game on Atari back in the 80\'s. It helped me rot my brain for hours on end! Great game!

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2001-03-26
From: Wayne M.   (
more)
Comments: Hey, you politically correct faggots: the Aztecs loved to eat human flesh and sacrificed men, women and children to their gods. anyhow, this fuckin game is an 80s Indiana Jones rip-off but it will still kick your ASS. What surprises me the most is that Parker Brothers actually made a good game.

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2001-03-02
From:
aztec warrior(G  (more)
Comments: MORE ADDICTIVE THEN CRACK..should be labeled on the box! I found a trick you can do in the game to warp to the treasure trove. All you do is this: on any level this can be performed. In the starting room there is always a rope leading to down. (put guy over rope and hit down up down up ect... untill the guy looks like he is in the climbing postition but is not even on the rope.) Now you can climb upward where there is no rope!! It looks like your floating. Go all the way up past the ceiling and right into the treasure room. You have to do this each time you want to skip a level. "warning- causes tempory bugs while playing" Have fun and Email if you want to chat about other games on SMS.

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2001-02-27
From:
nono  (more)
Comments: this site is very good,congratulations my friend.

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2001-02-27
From:
Pyrex999  (more)
Comments: Tough game, very good for the time it was created. A must for the true collector. Get it if you can, a lot of fun.

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2001-02-26
From:
Wilburt  (more)
Comments: THis game is awesome. Very challenging. I can only get to level 4. One of the last games my mom brought home in the early 90s before we moved off to Hasbro.

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All content © Chris Wopat 1997-2014. I probably should thank Sega here too. Thanks!