Golden Axe

2005-03-03
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Ah yes, ME, have fun! I wish you two crazy kids all the best. I was just joking abouting about boinking your mom, I just couldn't bring myself to it (I vomited at the very thought). Though, I am glad you enjoy boinking a 73 year old with no gums (must be quite an interesting blowjob). She was so lonely, maybe now you can be the light in her life. And seeing as how she is postmenopausal, the abortions you performed seemed hardly necessary, you rascal! Hugs!

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GP Rider

2005-03-03
From: pondermuffin
Comments: there is no past, no future, there is only the eternal NOW. Realize that nothing has ever existed, nothing exists, nor will anything ever exist, and then there is no more pain. HUZZAH! I'm a raging flamer! HUZZAH! I removed some ribs so I could suck my dick all day! Yippie! Cum.

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Alex Kidd in High Tech World

2005-03-03
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Oh no! Please Onan! Oh, the sorrow! Please defend my idiocy! I don't think I can suffer the world without you! You were my only friend, and now I tuck my penis betwixt my legs and preen like a lusty virgin schoolgirl. Does it excite you master? Alone I clench my gun, unce! Roofles!

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The Ninja

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: would the jester hand the golden wand to you?!?!

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Golden Axe

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Luminosity is the quality of the radiance displayed by the awakened mind upon the realization of the inheirent emptyness of all things. Plus, I fucked your mother long and hard. You kind of have to be enlightened to get one up around that hobag.

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Mortal Kombat

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: call me, I think you may have what I've been looking for..........

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Sensible Soccer

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Sensible? Hardly. That bastard wouldn't know sensible if broke in his house, shit on his toaster, spooged in his handsoap, and left him heart cockle warming love poems!

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Space Harrier 3-D

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Whatever floats your boat. I find masterbating to be extremely relaxing. The release of endogenous morphine is especially intoxicating after a several days of abstinance. In fact, I'm throbbing right now. May I hump your legs please?

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Special Crime Investigation

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Roy Miescherhorny 3704 Asstuffer Ln Gayesville, VT 05001 Contact: email: crazystalker@yourhouse.com Ph: (802)867-5309 Fax: (802)SUK-COCK ATTN:Buttfucker

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World Grand Prix

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: I swear, she told me she was eighteen. And her bush, why, it looked as if it had grown freely for at least five years! She let me pluck it bald with tweezers. Good times.

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Castle of Illusion

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Behold! It is the time of Kali, the destruction! From the sky shall fall the great king of rock'n'roll! Fire will burn the loins of the prude, as the glory of the sight of Janet Reno's perfect ass will throw all maledom into a writhing fit of ecstacy. Do not fall prey to such tricks! Eat rhubarb and be immune!!!! Message from the global Rhubard Farmers Syndicate

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Bram Stokers Dracula

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: for a wholesome heterosexual adventure, try this on your girlfriend: Remove panties. Stick finger in vagina. Rinse and salt the cavity. With a pin, pierce well all over. Clothespin on the clitoris optional.

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Bram Stokers Dracula

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Terribly sorry gents, just tried my own suggestion with my current girlfriend. Would you believe it?!? She called me a sick bastard! Me! That's the going to be the second restraing order this year. Apparently, I should've never let go of the treasure that was Petula. Oh how she liked it rough! Yes lads, once you have found a girl who likes a good spanking, ne'er let her go. Too bad I just couldn't see past that pea sized mole just above her left nostril. I think she could've been the one.

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World Grand Prix

2005-02-22
From: pondermuffin
Comments: One cannot be "like" the voices, one can only do their bidding. The voices are loudest when overdosing on Bupropion. Since my epiphany due to neurotransmitter saturation, I see that strings shoot from my fingers and attempt to strangle me. They are readily affeted by electromagnetism, tend to form parabolic arcs, and appear to be made of pure energy. They require more study, and more Wellbutrin, much as I do.

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Penguin Land

2005-02-21
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Never take a shit on girl's head on a date. For whatever reason, they tend to get upset. Don't believe me? I've tried it with several girls and the reaction of vomiting followed by a restraining order seems to be the normal sequence of events.

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Dynamite Dux

2005-02-21
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Blowing up ducks with dynamite is messy business. But lord, how they deserve to have their spiteful guts blown to kingdom come! Damn you, infernal ducks! Why did you have to bite my naked penis that I dangled before you so tauntingly! I'm half the man I used to be.....I'm broken. I will not rest until you have all burned from my fiery and explosive wrath!!!

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Astro Warrior

2005-02-20
From: pondermuffin
Comments: A whisper in the desert: a lie. A fart in the wind: a panacea. Oh, when did I fall down the bottomless pit of ignorance? Never give a handjob to a camel.

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Astro Warrior & Pit-Pot

2005-02-20
From: pondermuffin
Comments: No! Never again repeat the mistake of the gerbil! Steer clear of Richard Gere's anus, no matter how inviting it may appear. Poor little bastard.

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Robocop 3

2005-02-20
From: pondermuffin
Comments: When will I learn to stop sucking the withered cock of my morbidly obese boss just to get extra vacation days? Salty spew. Now a great sadness befalls me whenever I fuck my neighbor's dog. And it used to be such a wholesome experience.

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Chase H.Q.

2005-02-20
From: pondermuffin
Comments: my schlong: the other white meat. Don't matter just don't bite it.

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Cool Spot

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: someone should compile the inane comments on this site and email them to Michael Jackson. 5 acorn headed chimps!

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Lord of the Sword

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Sounds like a cheezy late 80's porn flick. 3 acorn headed chimp dudes!

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Zillion 2: Tri Formation

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: reading the posts on this site have made me realize things...bad things...that reside in the depths of the most depraved of minds...REPENT FOR THE END IS NYE FOR THE SCIENCE GUY! (That means you, and get your finger out of your nose!) And I had sex with your mom! Seven acorn heads!

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Slap Shot

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: and another meme claims another lost soul. 4 Chimps!

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Psychic World

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: call me now fer yer free tarot card reedin! 6 acorn headed chimps!

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Choplifter

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Imagine if you will being inside a giant roasting marshmallow. No really. Do it! Do it! 8 acorn monkeys!

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Shadow of the Beast

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: a sandwich just isn't a sandwich without the tangy zip of miracle whip. Touch my monkey! And I had sex with your mommy. She was actually pretty good too. Did you know she was double jointed?

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Rambo III

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: as I sit in the darkness, alone with but a measly squirrel, I smile as I remember happy times when I pranced and romped about like a limpwristed faggot through the dewey meadows of yesteryear. All I wanted to do was laugh at the pumpkins. Well, those fuckers are sorry now, as I lightly sautee their rotten corpses in a creamy butter sauce. The bananas are watching YOU! 8 Acorn monkeys!

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Captain Silver

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Butt pirates. Cock'n'bum fun for everyone! I loathe you Cap'n'Crotch! Batten down the hatches, momma's gettin' drunk tanight! 7 acorn monkeys!

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Hook

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: when the greedy fleshforms cease to clinging to the eggplants in early morn, then (and only then) will the pumpkins roam free. You are the source for all their anguish, and one day YOU WILL PAY! Damn you Ray Liotta!

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TransBot

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: The devil you say! For best results, lather, rinse, repeat you FUCKS! I lash out with the fury of a thousand angry kumquats! Feel my wrath! I have seen the nipple of your very soul! Have a zippity-fucking-doda-doodoo-dodo-day! 7 acorn chimps!

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Joe Montana Football

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: when I was but a young a lad, I would thrust my turgid penis betwixt two Oxford dictionaries repeatedly for sport. Alas, this misuse of my god given fruit led to a premature impotence. Oh, I cannot formulate into words the depths of the dispair I felt. I swore to the lord if I could have but one more Woody, my shlong would ne'er again be subject to such torment. The lord smilith upon me. For, for my 17th birthday, I recieved a gift. And it was Joe Montana Football. And upon the box I did behold the most homoerotic image ever fashioned by the hands of man. With a great flash of holy sunfire, my John Thomas came bursting to life. For miles people saw the flash. And lo they knew, that the lord hath not only heard my prayers....but answered them. 10 acorn headed little money people!

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My Hero

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: NO. Trust not ye in this one. His pants reek of radish.

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RC Grand Prix

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin
Comments: Reeling from the stench of an angry twat, I struggle to see through sweat stung eyes. A vision of beauty too terrible to behold: yo' mamma.

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