Joe Montana Football

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[7062] - published by SEGA. Average Reader Rating: 5.91

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2012-08-24
From: BluBlaDe   (
more)
Comments: Football and hockeys are the hardest games to fuck up.

Rating: n/a

2012-05-16
From: Rain   (
more)
Comments: This was an allright football game. sadly only 2 uniform colours though. and a very very easy game i found evetually. even picking the worst team it wasnt a chore thrashing the better teams

Rating:

2011-12-03
From: BluBlaDe   (
more)
Comments: Not a big fan of sports games

Rating: n/a

2011-09-27
From: Danny   (
more)
Comments: Good game, actually. Surprisingly good, in fact. Best football game to be found on the SMS, but would it have killed them to make more than two different uniforms for all the teams? They managed to do it for Walter Payton Football, a much lesser game in terms of actual game play (sorry Walter).

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2011-09-12
From: Rex Grossman   (
more)
Comments: Fuck yeah! How you like that, motherfuckers! Sexy Rexy is the numero uno quarterback-o of the NFL! All you haters must now bask in my glory and your girlfriends must submit to even my sickest sexual demands. That happens to be urolagnia, by the way. Oh yeah, Rex knows how to party.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-26
From: Roger Goodell   (
more)
Comments: Yeah, but soccer players rolling around like they've taken a bullet any time someone so much as touches them isn't? Soccer fags have the pain threshold of a little girl with brittle bone disease. Granted, the intellectual nature of soccer is, indeed, great. Hell, it's not like any group of slack-jawed morons can just kick a ball around. Oh, wait....The greatest mental exertion in soccer is remembering that in the second half of a game you kick towards the opposite goal as you did the first half.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-26
From: Joe Montana   (
more)
Comments: Chin up, Joey, you were always one of the good ones. Not quarterbacks, mind you, but a good guy.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-26
From: Joe Montana   (
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Comments: Careful riding your bike, Joey, there are a lot of crazies out there.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-22
From: Scott   (
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Comments: Shit, now there's two pictures of Rob Schneider.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-20
From: Peter   (
more)
Comments: I guess you tools have run out of shitty quarterbacks to imitate. Just as well, for I, Peter, was getting tired of the bit.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-19
From: Joe Montana   (
more)
Comments: If only this many people had actually played my shitty video games, then that fat bastard John Madden wouldn't be raking in money hand over fist. Corpulent fuck.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Ron Powlus   (
more)
Comments: Remember me? I was Jimmy Clausen before Jimmy Clausen was. Even better, actually, or worse depending on one's point of view. I could never have been even half the douche of a Brady Quinn, however. GO ZIPS!

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Don Majkowski   (
more)
Comments: Anybody remember the "Majik" Man? Yeah, I was the quarterback for the Packers before Brett Favre! Honest, I was. Actually looked good in a couple of games, too. We beat the Bears one year. They were good then, so it was something of an accomplishment.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: JaMarcus   (
more)
Comments: Bitch, please! Everybody know I was the worst QB in NFL history. Shit, that be why I only go by one name and what not. JaMarcus says it all. No need for the Russell. Ask anybody, bitch. Ask them who the worst was. One word comes back over and over, the same word: JaMarcus. Just like Madonna only need one name for sucking dicks I only need one name for being a shit QB.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Max Hall   (
more)
Comments: I know it's just my second season, but I put all of you losers to shame. I could be the worst quarterback ever to draw a paycheck.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Bubby Brister   (
more)
Comments: I was actually sort of good, sort of. Not really, but I wasn't as bad as the rest of you. Well, Warren was better, but he's a terrible person, so I'm kind of better than him, too.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Warren Moon   (
more)
Comments: Don't matter, Warren only like the booty, anyway. Yes, I refer to myself as Warren, I that fucking awesome. Think I'll get another piece...

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Warren Moon   (
more)
Comments: Hey, Cody, I got an idea for you: why don't you imagine me doing your wife. At least that would actually be true. She loved the black mamba (but she don't give a fuck about Kobe, if you know what I'm talking about).

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Akili Smith   (
more)
Comments: With all due respect, I should certainly be given my due in any discussion of overrated or disappointing QBs. I wasn't even that great in college; guess I fooled some people. Maybe you white devils were finally willing to give a break or two to a handsome black man such as myself. Guess there are a few good ones...

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Dan McGwire   (
more)
Comments: Well, most of that was crazy bullshit, but the Great Mormon Moron was right about one thing, the WAC was the pinnacle of football excellence and my dismal failure as an NFL quarterback is of no real consequence, though I do admit not juicing up on 'roids like my brother, then maybe I could have been more than a seat warmer for the greatness that was Rick Mirer. Oh well, I did get to bask in the glory of Dave Krieg for a season.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Ty Detmer   (
more)
Comments: I was better than all of you hell-bound sinners! College football, specifically the old Western Athletic Conference, is actually the highest form of football, not the NFL. Thus my greatness, stemming as it does from the strength given to me be the Lord and the LDS Church, is undeniable, even to you gentiles.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: David Klingler   (
more)
Comments: That's out of line, Heath. As fellow University of Houston alumni, Andre and I need to stick together. One more thing we had in common: we both sucked donkey balls in the NFL. But played like little girls we did not.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-18
From: Steve DeBerg   (
more)
Comments: Shut up, you wife-beating drunk-ass pile of shit!

Rating: n/a

2011-08-17
From: Andre Ware   (
more)
Comments: I played for a while didn't I? Even I can't remember. I think it was for the Lions because I got mugged every other day or so.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-17
From: Frank Reich   (
more)
Comments: I'm greater than all you pantywaists combined. BASK IN THE GLORY OF THE FOURTH REICH! May it last a thousand years!

Rating: n/a

2011-08-17
From: Cade McNown   (
more)
Comments: Remember me? Yeah, nobody does except Tim Couch.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-17
From: Ryan Leaf   (
more)
Comments: Don't forget about me, you fuckers. The only quarterback in the entire world I can look down upon is that fat, stupid fuck Jamarcus Russell. Not only was dude a terrible quarterback, he also did one hell of a job living up to every negative ethnic stereotype there was. Dumb, lazy...shit, if he had carried around a piece of watermelon with him or a bucket of KFC he would have gotten all of them.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-16
From: Steve Grogan   (
more)
Comments: Can I get in on this suck action? I sucked for years and years, plus I had a creepy neck beard long before Kyle Orton's even creepier one. You know, as soon as Orton shaved that monster, the Broncos started losing that season. It was like Samson's hair, it was.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-16
From: Scott   (
more)
Comments: Fuck you both! I might be a loser, but I'm not on the level of you assholes. I would also like to say to Rodney Peete that I am sorry for any offense given. Football is a physical game and it takes its toll on all players. Also, Rodney, I'd just like to say that I've wanted to put the wood to your wife ever since her 21 Jump Street days. Peace out, brutha.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-16
From: Rex Grossman   (
more)
Comments: And me makes three! Three sucky losers. Shit, can you believe that I'm the best QB on my team? Me neither.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-15
From: Scott   (
more)
Comments: Seems like it wasn't just in your head, Rodney. After all, they must have beaten you badly enough to make you unable to spell your own name correctly.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-14
From: The Lord Thy Go   (
more)
Comments: You're just not an accurate enough passer, Tim.

Rating: n/a

2011-08-14
From:
Tim Tebow  (more)
Comments: Lord, why won't they let me be quarterback?

Rating: n/a

2011-05-05
From: Paul   (
more)
Comments: The best football game made for the SMS, by far, at least in terms of playability. Walter Payton Football looked okay, but was a mess and an insult to the life and now memory of Walter Payton. Great Football was an abortion (or should have been).

Rating:

2008-08-14
From: pud   (
more)
Comments: This game is a critical junction of space and time. Joe Montana and John Madden football both come out for the genesis...first footballs games. People have no idea what is better.. who is going to survive.. some people like Joe M although others prefer John Madden... Well guess who won John Madden! It could of been Joe Montana football 2008 for the PS3, XBox360.. only if Joe M was just a little better of game....

Rating:

2007-11-15
From: joe the pro   (
more)
Comments: fun game if you dont take it seriously! however, the crowd noise gets old very quick!!

Rating:

2006-09-03
From: Classic Comment   (
more)
Comments: 2005-03-17 From: the voices!!!! (more) Comments: Amala and Kamala. raised by wolves. remarkable, but what is in it for a wolf? such creatures could teach us much

Rating: n/a

2006-09-03
From: Classic Comment   (
more)
Comments: 2001-04-02 From: wayne m. (more) Comments: 8 bit sports games suck like shit except 4th and inches on the commodore 64. Hey I really like star league baseball too on that machine. This game on the sms sucks. Joe montana seems like a real nice guy though, not like most jocks who gang rape girls and secretly want shlong up their kazoo. Here is a good role model though. If I was gay Id be into him.

Rating: n/a

2006-08-24
From: Peter   (
more)
Comments: I quite liked this game, actually. It was far better than Great Football and had much greater playability than Walter Payton Football. The only real fault I can cite for this game is the fact that there are only two team colors, red and blue. That one problem aside, I found it to be the best SMS football game.

Rating: n/a

2006-08-24
From:
Danny  (more)
Comments: Sorry. This game sadly failed.

Rating: n/a

2005-09-21
From: Moeller's wife   (
more)
Comments: Stop beating on me all the time Gary or I'll call the cops!

Rating:

2005-09-20
From: Resturant Mngr.   (
more)
Comments: Just don't walk into my store drunk. Got that Moeller.

Rating:

2005-09-20
From: Southfield Cop   (
more)
Comments: Moeller, you step foot in this town "needing a drink", and I'll be on your ass like a fly is on shit!

Rating:

2005-09-19
From: Wayne Fontes   (
more)
Comments: I should have never been fired.

Rating:

2005-09-17
From: Joey Harrington   (
more)
Comments: I suck real bad at this game.

Rating:

2005-05-02
From: baffo   (
more)
Comments: usually when I play this game I have my pants down around my ankles.

Rating:

2005-02-15
From: pondermuffin   (
more)
Comments: when I was but a young a lad, I would thrust my turgid penis betwixt two Oxford dictionaries repeatedly for sport. Alas, this misuse of my god given fruit led to a premature impotence. Oh, I cannot formulate into words the depths of the dispair I felt. I swore to the lord if I could have but one more Woody, my shlong would ne'er again be subject to such torment. The lord smilith upon me. For, for my 17th birthday, I recieved a gift. And it was Joe Montana Football. And upon the box I did behold the most homoerotic image ever fashioned by the hands of man. With a great flash of holy sunfire, my John Thomas came bursting to life. For miles people saw the flash. And lo they knew, that the lord hath not only heard my prayers....but answered them. 10 acorn headed little money people!

Rating:

2005-01-21
From: Clarkson   (
more)
Comments: Dick Clark Richard "Montana Dick" Clark Assistant Professor of Biology ADDRESS: 319 Block Hall Department of Environmental Sciences The University of Montana - Western 710 South Atlantic Dillon, Montana 59725 (406) 683-7822 Email: r_clark@umwestern.edu RichardMore on Dick

Rating:

2003-12-24
From: Sega Bitch   (
more)
Comments: A surprisingly good game with great playability. The worst thing about it is that there are only two uniform colors in the game: red and blue. What the fuck, Joe?

Rating:

2003-08-08
From: JP   (
more)
Comments: I thought this game was pretty fun. One of the first football games where you could actually break tackles! Bo Jackson was the fastest dude in the game...

Rating:

2003-04-29
From:
asfdasdsa  (more)
Comments: gavin has no wang

Rating:

2003-04-12
From:
Wi Wi Jumbo  (more)
Comments: I've never played this game, but since Joe Montana does seem to be a nice guy I'll give it a 7. It does give me the opportunity to mention Walter Payton Football (exact title unknown) also for the SMS. Does it really exist? I remember having it. I remember playing it. Yet no record of it seems to have survived. It wasn't really that great, but it was a hell of a lot better than Great Football. Walter Payton was a very nice man and his death was a great loss for us all. Also, I believe he wore a white headband on the box and instruction booklet. Did I really see these things? Did the headband say SEGA on it, or did his jersey? Did the crowd in Great Football chant "hey-oom...hey-oom...hey-oom" when a touchdown was scored? Also in Great Football, wasn't there a team named the Bombers and yet no option for scoring a rouge (Winnipeg forever)existed? Why not ask these last questions on the Great Football page? We may never know.

Rating:

2003-01-22
From: Jacko   (
more)
Comments: Im australian and i have no idea how this fucked up game operates

Rating:

2002-07-10
From: rob   (
more)
Comments: the shitttttttiessssst game ever

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2001-12-05
From: darkhorse   (
more)
Comments: i hated this game

Rating:

2001-09-18
From:
Segacollection.  (more)
Comments: Yawn Yawn Yawn etc. One to avoid, methinks.. Segacollection.com (Soon back online)

Rating:

2001-06-09
From: j green   (
more)
Comments: love the game. except when someone gets tackled, it sounds like theyre making a nasty fart sound

Rating:

2001-05-11
From: JOE MONTANA   (
more)
Comments: I GOT SO MUCH MONEY FOR THIS GAME AND I DID NOTHING. HA HA

Rating:

2001-03-12
From: revolt   (
more)
Comments: this is one amazing game and i love it i am giving this the top mark and everyone should own it. if u don't then i think you should grow some balls and get it

Rating:



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All content © Chris Wopat 1997-2017. I probably should thank Sega here too. Thanks!