15 reviews by LaFemmeVelveeta..
Golden Axe

2003-06-22
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: Great arcade game, great Genesis game, mediocre Master System game. In a sense, the arcade game was too great for it's own good because it just didn't seem right on the SMS. It was a pale imitation of itself.

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Zillion

2003-06-22
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: An admittedly great game, but one that requires more patience than I possess. I just couldn't stand the paperwork.

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Gangster Town

2003-06-22
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: Because there is no page devoted to Dead Angle I will review it here. For the record, I have nothing against Sicilians, Italians, Italian-Americans, or Jews (although I don't remember for sure if Jewish gangsterism was represented in the game). However, I really enjoyed blowing them all to bits. The SMS version of Dead Angle was quite a good translation from the arcade and very, very fun. Crime really doesn't pay. Not with me on the trigger, mother-fuckers.

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Choplifter

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: This is overall a good game with great graphics for it's day, but far too difficult to rate that highly. I learned too late that the secret to the caves was flying through them backwards. By the time I found out my desire to play Choplifter had long since faded away.

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Vigilante

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: Without a doubt the poor man's Double Dragon. I can't complain about how the game looked graphically, but playability is the only thing a game must have and this bastard has none whatsoever. It is nothing but frustration and wasted effort.

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Penguin Land

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: One of the greatest of Master System games. A challenging game to say the least, but a rewarding one also. It is kind of funny when Overbite is wearing the sunglasses and taking drags off a roach and I know it's wrong to speak ill of the dead, but that ghost was a prick.

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Shinobi

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: There are some interesting people on this site. Anyway, Shinobi was always one of my most coveted SMS games. It was one all my Nintendo owning friends really took to. It looks great, it plays great, and you can make steady, if slow, progress through it. I least I could until I ran afoul of that Mandara asshole. I never did beat that fuck. My friend did once and it tainted our relationship forever. Once I learned the level select trick I didn't have to worry about Mandara ever again, but it still bothers me that I never beat him. What is ridiculous about the whole thing is that Lobster, the next boss after Mandara, is a complete puss. Overall, a good game and a very good showcase to all the Nintendo victims I knew that the Master System was the superior machine.

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Astro Warrior

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: I'm not a big shooter fan in the first place and this game never did anything to change that. Very repetitive and fun for roughly fifteen minutes or so. It's as good as any overhead shooter ever was, though. A rating of five seems fair.

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Thunder Blade

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: Absolute garbage. Probably the worst game my parents had the misfortune of buying for me. In some ways all video games could be deemed a waste of money, but at least some of them are enjoyable. This was an absolute bitch! Sorry, dad. Sorry, mom. It was all the worse because of the high hopes I had for this game. It does look great, doesn't it. Come to think of it, most of my favorite games were ones that I wasn't too sure about before I played them. That's a good lesson for the kids out there; keep your expectations low and you will be forever rewarded.

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After Burner

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: Most people seem to consider this a rather poor translation of the arcade game. Although in no way am I saying this is a good game, I can't really agree with that assessment. To be blunt, I've always thought that the arcade game was shit. In fact, it was a lot like this. The arcade game was style over substance just like the SMS version. The arcade game looked fantastic, but it was just as simple and repetitive. The SMS version did not have bad graphics for an 8-bit system, far from it. The arcade is bright and shiny and loud and for many people that seems to be enough. That the SMS game is bad, I can't deny, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

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Space Harrier

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: This was as good an arcade translation as could be expected at the time and arguably the greatest SMS game. It is simple, addicting fun. There is little else to say, so I'll stop saying anything.

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Psycho Fox

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: I can understand the frustration that many people have voiced over the control of movement in this game. I can understand it, but I don't share it. I imagine, like me, many people went from playing Alex Kidd to playing this. There certainly is a world of difference when it comes to controlling your character, but I have to rule in favor of Psycho Fox. I found the movement of Alex Kidd to be hypersensitive and even erratic at times. Psycho Fox was firmly within the laws of physics and was much easier for me to get the hang of. It could be a hard game, but it was beatable. Not through cheats (warps don't count) or codes, but through dogged determination alone. It even had an ending that didn't leave you feeling slighted. In short, this is the greatest platformer that the world will ever see.

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Rastan

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: A pretty good translation and quite fun. It would have been nice to have the most difficult boss actually be the final boss. Sega seemed to have a problem with that. It was anticlimatic to say the least. Good ending, though.

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Time Soldiers

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: Good translation of a mediocre arcade game. Hopefully our schools were good enough to counterbalance the gross inaccuracies of this game. Part historical, part mystical, part fantasy, all fucked up. Other than that, it's not bad.

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Rambo III

2003-06-20
From: LaFemmeVelveeta
Comments: I only managed to beat this game once, but part of Rambo III's charm was that it never really got old. I guess one just never tires of shooting people. This was, by far, my favorite Light Phaser game. Of course, I only had two: this surprising gem and the deeply depressing Safari Hunt.

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