2001-07-16
From: WAYNE M.
Comments: NOTHING
Rating:
Alex Kidd in Miracle World
2001-07-16
From: WAYNE M.
Comments: NOTHING
Rating:
Rocky
2001-06-17
From: wayne m.
Comments: Fuck all you assholes who are impersonating me. And your mother too.
Rating:
After Burner
2001-06-14
From: wayne m.
Comments: FUCK ALL OF U!! NINTENDO RULES!!!
Rating:
Golden Axe
2001-05-10
From: wayne m.
Comments: That is the queerest master system game box yet. i used to have this game but i got embarassed just having it on my shelf because sometimes people would see it. What kind of fag would want to be caught with it? Youd expect this guy to be into tickling the rectums of the bad guys. With his tongue. But I know a lot of people who play video games are nerds though and they need a good role model. This guy is it then.But now the best part of golden axe is now gone. Sometimes Id play the warrior girl and make her spin around and hit pause right as they showed her ass cheecks and then Id jerk off but sometimes Id play the dwarf because he really kicked ass like it was no ones business. But now all that you have to choose from is this rim boy who hangs out at ballys fitness all day. He's like a gay Conan. Go play this on the genesis and you will not regret it but on the master system forget it. And fuck ballys fitness too.
Rating:
Mirracle Warriors
2001-04-09
From: Wayne M.
Comments: Look at the title screen. What a collection of fags. the guys with the mustaches loook the worst. the girl on the end with the blonde hair looks like the chick in the conan movie. One time when I was 10 I jerked off while thinking about her. but anywayif you spend your time playing old rpg games especially one as bad as this you are the loneliest fucker on the face of the earth
Rating:
Out Run
2001-04-04
From: wayne m.
Comments: If you bent over in front of a mirror and spread your cheecks, this cart is probably what you'd see lodged there. Yes its pretty bad. The arcade was great but the sms version is worse than nes Rad Racer and thats not too good. ANd fuck if Id let the blonde bitch in the car with me though theres always some hotshot white guy with a ferrari and a lot of money that needs himself a blonde. I bet the both of them have herpes
Rating:
Rastan
2001-04-02
From: wayne m.
Comments: This guy could kick Conan's ass in a fight. The riddle of steel is that it really hurts like a bitch. Crom. And the graphics really do suck a fat dick but the game is still really fun. The music blows too but then you actually start liking it. Careful when you turn on the cartridge because you'll think someone just puked on your tv screen but try it its fun.
Rating:
Aztec Adventure
2001-04-02
From: wayne m.
Comments: Instead of playing the great Hernan Cortes you get to be some spic from Brazil. Fucking Aztecs looking to cook you up with peppers and spice and eat your limbs. They really did that back then, after they sacrificed you. The priests would eat your limbs and then your torso would be thrown to the animals in the zoo. Yum yum. Im not shitting you. Go read a book you PC fucks. Get the facts. But anyway in this game a dog, a duck, and a teddy bear are going to help you destroy the Aztec civilization. Real god damn stupid. Hey but I will have to say that Spaniards really smelled back then, like all Europeans did. Actually they still do. Back then they never took a bath. THey never do now either. PU. Hey mexicans: Give me a damn break. You speak spanish and believe in jesus christ and you fuckers want to call yourselves aztecs. A real fuckin laugh you people.
Rating:
Shinobi
2001-04-02
From: wayne m.
Comments: Shinobi is a god damn classic. Too bad the sms couldn't handle the game. Too damn slow. I love games where you play a ninja though and you're battling the whole god damn world. Notice how on the box art though they didn't want to make Shinobi's eyes too chinky. Don't you nerd idiots see that? No insight. You would think you had it too, because I'm sure a lot of you have had real lonely lives, which makes a person insightful. But still you don't. But fuck you Sega America for being ashamed of chinky eyes because I don't like gooks too much but be proud of what you are. I do like ninja's though. The graphics of the title screen kick ass and shinobi has his chinky eyes again. You will triumph against ninjitsu mother fucker.
Rating:
Carmen Sandiego
2001-03-29
From: Wayne M.
Comments: When I was a kid I used to masturbate while thinking about Carmen Sandiego because you could never find her but I imagined what she looked like. Then my mom walked in and took the game away.
Rating:
Parlour Games
2001-03-29
From: Wayne M.
Comments: This game is for guys who are too afraid to go to a real bar. I caught my brother jerking off to the girl on the title screen one time. Get a fuckin real dart board though and put it in your basement and get some friends. Then you can all come over and still be afraid to go to a bar but it will be a fun time.
Rating:
WWF: Steel Cage
2001-03-29
From: Wayne M.
Comments: In this game Hulk Hogan goes bald and snorts cocaine in the locker room. This game is so shitty that only bit tittied wrestling fans could find pleasure in it, like the guy who scored this a ten. I think Viet Cong shoving bamboo shoots under my fingernails would be less painful than having to play this game again
Rating:
Montezumas Revenge
2001-03-26
From: Wayne M.
Comments: Hey, you politically correct faggots: the Aztecs loved to eat human flesh and sacrificed men, women and children to their gods. anyhow, this fuckin game is an 80s Indiana Jones rip-off but it will still kick your ASS. What surprises me the most is that Parker Brothers actually made a good game.
Rating:
Shanghai
2001-03-26
From: wayne m.
Comments: The Nips really can come up with some good games. This one really addicted me. Better than sweet and sour pork with rice. The music makes me happy too.
Rating:
California Games
2001-03-26
From: wayne m.
Comments: California Games made in 1987? What happened to the coke snorting contest. Anyhow, this game really blows. THe graphics suck and the events are really boring.
Rating:
Pro Wrestling
2001-03-26
From: wayne m.
Comments: Sorriest SMS game out there. NES Pro Wrestling this is not. Really God damn sorry. I'd have more fun lodging this one up my ass.
Rating:
Strider
2001-03-26
From: wayne m.
Comments: do NOT play this on a master system!!!!1 Get the Genesis version instead. You have been warned.
Rating:
Bubble Bobble
2001-03-26
From: wayne m.
Comments: Who were the crack-smoking idiots who didn't realease this in the USA??? No wonder the Master System failed. fuck you sega. thanks for always dropping the ball.
Rating:
Cloud Master
2001-03-26
From: wayne m.
Comments: Great graphics but when do chinamen have red hair? I like when the bowls of ramen noodles attack him. This game would be great if the box art wasn't so gay. They made the guy look like a fucking irishman.
Rating:
Rambo: First Blood Part II
2001-03-10
From: wayne m.
Comments: Man, this rambo must really hate gooks! Fun game for a while though. too bad I always end up dead in a rice paddie
Rating: