Master of Darkness

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: Fucking awesome game - as good as most early castlevanias, i know i own them all and am a huge fan of the series. Miss out on this slice of spooky goodness and you may as well snap something off in your stupid arse.

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Psycho Fox

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: Almost a sexual experience - like tossing off on a piece of freshly baked bread and feeding it to the birds in your back garden. Fucking brilliant game - a definate dropped bollock not carrying on this series - decap attack on MD was almost as good but could have been better.

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Cyber Shinobi

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: Strangely Clumsy yet playable - like a fat bird with big juicey tits - nothing worse than a fat bird with small tits is there...the fat small tited fucking wastes of energy. Yeah alright game.

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Cool Spot

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: Not a bad platformer - more product placement than fucking I Robot with that fresh princely bell end fellow. Main character is a little bit cack - well animated but not very inventive...yeah just like I Robot.

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Out Run Europa

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: Better than most racers on the the Master System...but not as good as dancing round your parents room, naked, covered in handcream and chanting satanic incantations. Trying to be a bit Chase H.Q.

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Populous

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: If i was God i would smite the shit out of some fuckers - i have a list - then i'd hump the shit out of some hot virgins and headbutt a giraffe. However i'm not God so I just play populous and although I can smite people in it i'm still looking for a cheat to bang some hot pixelated virgin ass.

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Mercs

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: You run around with a gun being all homoerotic in a vest. not bad but there are better games out there - like that one the lead singer of INXS was playing when he copped it - i wish more chart freindly dickheads would play that fateful game - burt they probably just play mercs and don't get dead at all. ho hum.

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Ninja Gaiden

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: This game is the shit - it's so good i once tried to stick the cartridge up may arse so i could become one with the game. It never happened, now i just have to play the most awesome game for master system with a stinky cart and a heart full of lust.

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R-Type

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: It's a fact that you cannot complete this game whilst masterbating and rubbing cottage cheese into your chest. However if you don't do any of that stuff whilst playing it you'll find it a very enjoyable experience, but not as enjoyable as masturbating whilst rubbing cottage cheese into your chest. Good conversion, but not as good as masturbating whilst rubbing cottage cheese into your chest....and so on...

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Land of Illusion

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: I fucking hate disney, the nazi, scum sucking, story thieving, sugar coating, cum guzzling horse bastards....but this game ain't half bad.

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Ghost House

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: Don't listen to that last guy he fucks him mum in the poo-mouth. This game is classic - filled with magic, thunder and draculas. If you don't like this game and i find out where you live i'll choke the fucking life out of you, you fucking rimjob.

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Space Gun

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: Shooting aliens dick's clean off has never been so above average. Some alright stuff for a lightgun game. Fucking hell, i've just farted and it smells exactly, and i mean exactly like last nights dinner. magic.

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Wonder Boy

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: Wonderboy before he went all fucking gay and RPG, doing what he did best: skateboarding in a leafy dress whilst smashing the shit out of giant snails with fucking hammer things, and all with the ultimate goal of boxing off that tight little green haired bitch. AWEEEEEEESOOOOME! WONDERBOY - HE'LL RAPE YOUR PETS!

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Wonder Boy in Monster Land

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: What the FUCK! What is this fruity RPG lite bullshit? where are the skateboards and high speed arse kickery? Compared to the original and part 3 this is a steaming pile of severed foreskins. Do yourself a favour and ignore all the other thousands of reviews on here that lick this turgid abortion's cock and listen to ME: Play the other two and shut up!

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Bram Stokers Dracula

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: A decent platformer - some okay graphics too - not as good as ripping one off over a 70s porno. Call me old fashioned but i like natural tits and a decent bush...what the fuck is with all these rock hard titted, weetabix pubed, spotty arsed, porn wenches nowadays? Yeah alright game - better than a lot of the tosh on this awesome but tosh ridden system.

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Basketball Nitemare

2008-09-15
From: The Flying Dild
Comments: I remeber buying this when i was a kid because you got to play werewolves at basketball and i loved teen wolf - the game is good but i still wish you could be a werewolf and tear those little gay yanky looking freaks heads off and slam dunk 'em in a stinky prostitues chuff.

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