28 reviews by JOSH..
Cloud Master

2012-03-10
From: Josh
Comments: No, no sick stories, Peter. She's been known to walk around the house stark naked from time to time. Makes me rather uncomfortable, actually. Her mother feels very strongly that it is of the utmost importance that she becomes as comfortable with her body as is possible. I support her in that, but it can be quite awkward. Even so, one can't help but look when a naked young woman walks by. Shit, the day I don't look at that is the day I put a gun in my mouth! As for the rest, one does not imagine pubic hair entwined in their toothbrush, nor am I imagining it when I have to pick the fucking things out of there.

Rating: n/a



Alex Kidd in Miracle World

2012-03-10
From: Josh
Comments: Good game, but the whole rock, paper, scissors thing was kinda weak. Also, Alex should have had a gun. It would have been awesome to blow Janken the Great's brains out in front of the princess right before the two of you do it on his corpse. Not sporting, perhaps, but he got a damn motorcycle, a speedboat, and that pedal-powered helicopter, are you telling me there wasn't a pistol or something that he could get his hands on?

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Alex Kidd in Miracle World

2012-03-10
From: Josh
Comments: Well, the dude exploded rocks and animals alike with just a punch, so maybe Alex's overwhelming awesomeness managed to take the place of a tail rotor. Or, more likely, it's just a fucking video game and you should lighten up a bit about it, at least by now. Just some friendly advice, that's all.

Rating: n/a



Cloud Master

2012-03-05
From: Josh
Comments: I kinda liked this game, but it was frustrating as hell. Almost as frustrating as finding pubic hairs in your toothbrush every day. Somebody is fucking with me and I don't like it! The weird thing about it is that there are only three of us in the house: me, my wife, and my step-daughter. Weirder still is that they both shave their pubic hair, so who the fuck is putting the pubic hairs in my toothbrush every damn day, and who's fucking hairs are they? Anyway, back to the game, I really liked everything about it other than the difficulty. It looked great and was a pretty unique shooter in terms of setting, subject, and the like. It was just so fucking hard!

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Alex Kidd in High Tech World

2012-03-05
From: Josh
Comments: It's nice that the internet, at its best, can provide us with a sense of the commonality human experience. Case in point, a couple people have pointed out how pissed they were when they got killed in totally random ways in this stupid fucking game. When I got crushed to death by putting on that suit of armor, I just quit playing and never looked back. Fuck this game.

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Micheal Jacksons Moonwalker

2012-03-05
From: Josh
Comments: This game is actually pretty good. In fact, there's only one thing wrong with it: it has Michael Jackson grabbing up children, ostensibly to rescue them. If I had the wherewithal to do so (I don't), I would change the game to where the protagonist was a naked Angelina Jolie (not now, but back with she was hot) and she would be tasked both with rescuing starving African children and making Brad Pitt seem less effeminate. One of the bosses could be an equally naked Jennifer Aniston trying to steal Brad back from her. Madonna, too, she could be a boss as well. She's always trying to steal African children anyway, so why not.

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Paperboy

2012-03-05
From: Josh
Comments: This is one of those games where I wanted to like it, but never did. It's kinda cool and different, to be sure, but there's just something about it that I don't like. Maybe it's the fact that I totally sucked donkey nuts at it. We'll probably never know for sure. Incidentally, I think the local paper boy has been breaking into my car in the early morning hours. Two times in the past weeks I've gone out to my car only to find things scattered about and a few things missing. Needless to say, I now wait outside every morning with a shotgun waiting for the fucker to try it again. It's an antique Winchester M1897 trench gun made to kill Germans, but I figure it'll kill a punk kid just the same.

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Space Harrier

2012-03-05
From: Josh
Comments: One of the all-time greats, and one of my all-time favorites. Sure, the story is practically non-existent and what there is of one doesn't make the least bit of fucking sense, but shit, it ain't a novel, it's a stupid video game.

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Psycho Fox

2012-03-05
From: Josh
Comments: Probably my favorite of all Master System games. Great graphics, great gameplay, and (most importantly for a douchebag loser like me) it was pretty easy to beat. In fact, the developers pretty much wanted you to win, something that is actually pretty nice considering how much money these fucking games cost back in the day.

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Rastan

2012-03-05
From: Josh
Comments: Another favorite, both because I loved the (extremely difficult) arcade version and because it was challenging without being impossible to beat. Plus, who wouldn't want to be some barbarian dude? Slashing and stabbing your way through hordes of monsters, lopping heads, crushing skulls. No doubt, too, are a good many wenches taken upon your throbbing member before you bury it to the hilt, filling them with your seed. That shit's not in the game, though, unfortunately.

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Golvellius

2006-02-26
From: Josh
Comments: This game rocks. It's not the best EVER, but it's way up there.

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Space Harrier

2006-02-26
From: Josh
Comments: It was good. The motion was not very fluid, but it was fun to play.

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Kenseiden

2006-02-26
From: Josh
Comments: Almost as good as it gets.

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Astro Warrior

2006-02-26
From: Josh
Comments: This was around the 3rd game I ever had in my life. It was fun and I sure played the heck out of it, but it wouldn't win any awards. The worst part is you get more powerful as you go along but loose it all when you die. So you'd get really far with like 5 ships and then as soon as you'd die once you very quickly loose the game because you lost all your powerups.

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Zillion

2006-02-26
From: Josh
Comments: I just won this game again on an emulator on my Mac. This game rocks. If you're playing it for the first time now, I don't know if you can fully appreciate how awesome this game was then.

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Zillion

2006-02-26
From: Josh
Comments: I just won this game again on an emulator on my Mac. This game rocks. If you're playing it for the first time now, I don't know if you can fully appreciate how awesome this game was then.

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Sonic the Hedgehog

2006-01-27
From: josh
Comments:

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Tom and Jerry

2005-09-20
From: Josh
Comments: Oh sh!t, I played this game like looooong time ago! My sega controller was more rounder on the edges than the ones shown on this website tho. kinda like this __________ (__________) lol.

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Taz Mania

2003-12-08
From: josh
Comments: i skyve a lot

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Taz Mania

2003-10-13
From: josh
Comments: i love paul hes a babe

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Taz Mania

2003-10-13
From: josh
Comments: paul wave at me now ok

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Shanghai

2003-06-17
From: Josh
Comments: I have always loved this game. My grandfather ownes a Sega Master System and this is the best game he has for it. The music isn't all to great, I usually turn the voume down on the tv and turn the radio on. But overall it is a great game.

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Mortal Kombat 2

2003-06-05
From: josh
Comments: not to good

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Golvellius

2001-12-12
From: Josh
Comments: This game is so great because unlike many old games that lack an ending (Zelda). Govelius has an amazing ending that leaves you hanging. It also has great music and graphics that are very clear for sms. For all of you that are wondering there is a sequel. It is for the MSX system. The MSX also has an metal gear game that is great.

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Vigilante

2001-12-12
From: JOSH
Comments: this game and games like it are why sms didnt do good. Repetative game. imagine double dragon without being able to move up or down. oh and nt being fun either.

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Altered Beast

2001-10-12
From: Josh
Comments: Sweet Game!

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Altered Beast

2001-07-23
From: Josh
Comments: This is a really cool game but I can't find anywhere to download or just play it fora little while

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Great Football

2001-04-16
From: Josh
Comments: This game was no "Joe Montana Football" but I did like the Japanese voice when it said "Interception"

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