6 reviews by NyarthMaul..
Ys: The Vanished Omens

2003-01-11
From: NyarthMaul
Comments: Oh my GOD. The Saturn version has better graphics and gameplay, the Windows version has INCREDIBLE graphics and gameplay and comes with a lavish artbook, the Windows Complete version has the same plus extra enhanced graphics, extra animation and a free DVD, the PCE version translated by Hudson has CD music, animation and voice acting and comes with the first TWO games as one playable adventure... ...whereas this pile of trash is slow and chippy with terrible renamed characters and laughable faux-medieval dialogue. I'd say it was better than the DOS version, but at least the DOS version only took me two hours to finish on the first shot. This torture could go on forever. Why does anyone even PLAY this trash any more, unless they're a completist loser like me that has to finish every version of Ys in existance?

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Xenon 2

2003-01-11
From: NyarthMaul
Comments: ...and hanging on the cross, Time Simenon of Bomb The Bass heard the SMS version of Megablast playing in a nearby house. He cried out to the sky "Father! Why hast thou forsaken me!" and died. (The gospel according to Simenon)

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Wonder Boy in Monster Land

2003-01-11
From: NyarthMaul
Comments: I absolutely love arcade games that think they're RPGs, and if I had to choose between the big three (this one, Cadash and Tower of Druaga), I would definately go with Wonderboy all the way. Piffling criticisms can be made of the fact that you need to be conversant with a lot of the game's secret rooms to stand a decent chance (and that it's not as good as the Arcade or PCE versions), but when a game's this adorable, who the hell cares? And most importantly of all, it's hard as nails but it IS possible on one credit.

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Bank Panic

2003-01-11
From: NyarthMaul
Comments: Sega invent first person twitch shoot-em-ups! Yay! SEGA r00l! xB0X 4r3 t3h d00m3d MUAHAHAHROFLROFL!!!!!!11111 Sadly the SMS game is made redundant in this day and age by the fact that the MAME rom of this game is free and you can get a 3 button joypad to play it on for the price of a Happy Meal. Of course, the Happy Meal won't make you wake up screaming in the night with a bleepy rendition of Dixie playing in your brain, terrified that you're about to be shot and blown up from three directions. ........actually, forget the bit about making you scream in the night. It might do that.

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Hang On & Safari Hunt

2003-01-11
From: NyarthMaul
Comments: I played Safari Hunt until my god damn hand fell off. I had very little to shoot at in my youth. Nowadays EVERYONE has Half Life. Hell, if you have anything more powerful than a 486 you get *issued* with it.

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Hang On & Safari Hunt

2003-01-11
From: NyarthMaul
Comments: I played Safari Hunt until my god damn hand fell off. I had very little to shoot at in my youth. Nowadays EVERYONE has Half Life. Hell, if you have anything more powerful than a 486 you get *issued* with it.

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