9 reviews by Will..
Micro Machines

2012-08-31
From: Will
Comments: Not necessary, she'd just fist herself on the back porch while the dog watched.

Rating: n/a


Mahjong

2012-02-15
From: Will
Comments: I totally rocked the Mahjong Titans game that came with Windows 7 on my computer: 904, my best score ever. Needless to say, I celebrated by masturbating to some nasty porn!

Rating: n/a


Masters of Combat

2012-02-15
From: Will
Comments: Speaking of bad porn, too much fake shit nowadays. Have we gotten so lazy that we can't even come, I mean cum, up with original ideas for porn? Worst thing is, people are out there paying for that shit.

Rating: n/a


Shadow of the Beast 2

2012-02-15
From: Will
Comments: Well, the Sleestak bit is pretty peculiar, Brad, but my own father used to dress up in a crotchless Bigfoot (or sasquatch) costume and do my mom on our dining table before dinner. Always in the ass, too. Don't know why. They're still married, so they're doing something right, I guess.

Rating: n/a


Micro Machines

2011-11-30
From: Will
Comments: I don't know, I kinda liked Micro Machines back in the day. Sure, they were small as all hell, which (besides being the point of them) meant that they were easy to lose and not all that detailed, but it did allow you to collect a whole bunch of the little fuckers, far more than you could with, say, Hot Wheels. Interestingly, I was playing with my Micro Machines one day and my sister came in to my room and asked me what I was doing. "Playing with my Micro Machines" I answered. "Oh, yeah" she said, "I like playing with machines, too, but they aren't micro." Not know what the fuck she was talking about, I sort of nodded and she went on her way after patting me on the head. I asked my mom about it later and she said that our aunt had given Jenny (my sister) a special present for her sixteenth birthday. Naturally, I wondered why I didn't get a special present from Aunt Janet. I asked Mom about it and first she said that Jenny was older. So then I asked if I should expect a similar special present when I turn sixteen. Mom laughed and said "no", saying that the present was for girls and that boys don't need them, whatever "them" was. Confronted by this gender prejudice, I stormed up to my sister's room and asked her about this special present and why only girls got to get them. She, too, laughed and said that all girls didn't get them, Aunt Janet just thought it would be nice for her to have one. "One what?" I asked. "It's called a vibrator, Will. It gives girls a nice feeling, that's all." Jenny said, adding, "Do you ever touch yourself, you know, your penis? It feels good, doesn't it?" Lying, I plead ignorance on such matters, so Jenny just told me that I would understand better someday. Thus, it was through Micro Machines that I learned that my sister fucked herself with a vibrator and my beloved Aunt Janet helped her to do so with my mother's apparent blessings.

Rating: n/a


Mahjong

2011-11-30
From: Will
Comments: I play Mahjong on my computer while I wait for porn to download.

Rating: n/a


Air Rescue

2011-11-30
From: Will
Comments: Well, your dad seems to have messed you up pretty good, Sam, no doubt about it, but at least you have some insight into why you're a fucked up weirdo. I do, too, in fact. My own perversion dates back to when I walked in on my parents having sex. I know, I know, a lot of kids do that, but I think my case was a particularly shocking example. First of all, they were doing it in a rear-entry position, thus there was no ambiguity with regard to what they were doing. They were not hugging, they were not wrestling, they were fucking. Second, my dad was really giving it to her good. Hard and fast. Rough and deep. Over and over again. Third, I learned that my dad was huge and that my mom was both a screamer and liked the dirty talk. Thus which each stroke of Dad's massive member, Mom would let out loud grunts, OOOHHHH!!! UUGGHHHH! OOOOO!!! YYEEESSSS! Followed by her encouragements for my father: GIVE ME THAT COCK!! FUCK YEAH!!! FILL ME UP, YOU FUCKER!! GIVE ME THAT CUM!!! I'm not sure how long I stood there listening to my mother say sick things and watching my father's enormous dong slide in and out of my mother's vagina. In until it could go no further and causing my mother to grunt yet again, then out again almost completely leaving just the tip inside mother's gaping hole. But the fourth thing that made it so horrible was the worst of all. The fourth thing was the noise. No, not the noise of my mother's screams, grunts, groans, or moans, nor that of her disturbingly foul mouth. It was the noise that was produced with each stroke of my father's penis in and out of my mother's ravished body. It was just this...this rhythmic SLORP, SLORP, SLORP, SLORP noise, over and over. I finally figured out that it was the sound of Dad's balls slapping against my mom's vulva at the end of each stroke. This was followed, almost imperceptibly, by another sound, that of my dad's balls, sticky with sweat, being peeled from my mother's labia as he recoiled for the next stroke. I was mesmerized by the sights and sounds of this spectacle, so much so that I was still there when Dad climaxed inside Mom with a grunt of his own. He pulled away and she sat up, the semen draining from her body even before the first of several queefs erupted from her vagina. With the show now over, I scurried to my room and cried. Cried and masturbated. Ever since I have been utterly obsessed with sexual matters, the more visceral the better.

Rating: n/a


Ultima IV

2006-03-21
From: Will
Comments: What is WITH Sega Master games and the fans who them? Sure, the Sega Master System may have been superior than Nintendo (from a non-visable, technical standpoint), but who the f*ck cares when the graphics and music were far below the excellent standard Nintendo set? Insisting that SMS is "clearly superior" than NES is like trying to convince a sane person that they can see your crazy hallucinations -- it just ain't gonna happen, and we'll continue to just smile, nod, and leave posts like these. Even Hydlide on the NES looked better than this abomination known as 'Lord British's Ultima IV'!

Rating:


Golden Axe

2005-07-24
From: will
Comments: i loved the game play on this game and the great soundtracks i threw my one away when i was younger and now i am buying all my games back especially golden axe n mickey mouse world of illusion

Rating: