7 reviews by Phil McCracken..
Strider
2014-05-06
From:
Phil McCracken
Comments:
The worst thing about communism is that it explicitly taught that women should never, under any circumstances, shave their pubic hair. Indeed, bald beavers were held to be the exemplar of bourgeoisie decadence. Granted, some would say that the worst thing about communism was that it resulted in tens of millions of deaths, but no, the worst thing was that it made hairy pussies okay.
Rating:
Teddy Boy
2014-05-06
From:
Phil McCracken
Comments:
With regard to the comment of one Nebrazca78 below, I would argue that actually liking this game makes you a pedophile. Not as much or as blatantly as, say, Moonwalker, but there's no doubt in my mind that when you played it you dreamed of being that little boy on a grand adventure just waiting for some magical bonus round where some older dude in an ugly sweater sodomizes you in his basement as Journey plays in the background.
Rating:
Pit Fighter
2011-04-26
From:
Phil McCracken
Comments:
Horrible game where what appears to be an Arab gentleman runs around with his arms raised in the air disabling passersby with the fetid body odor emanating from his arm pits. This game is in very poor taste. Some people would say such a depiction is far less offensive than real smelly Arabs flying planes into buildings and killing thousands of innocent people, but I am not one of those people.
Rating:
Micheal Jacksons Moonwalker
2007-03-29
From:
Phil McCracken
Comments:
I'm afraid that Michael's gradual transformation from black man to white woman has likely left him with no sack to stretch over anything, let alone a controller. I guess he may have labia now, though. Here's hoping they're pendant.
Rating:
n/a
Monic Castle Dragao
2007-03-29
From:
Phil McCracken
Comments:
I believe that I can help you out a bit, JJ. You see, as was mentioned, this shit-poor game was made in Brazil and it just so happens that the dead rabbit is the national bird of Brazil. I know what you're thinking, "a dead rabbit is no fucking bird", and you're right. You know that and I know that, but Brazilians are an immeasurably stupid race of half-breeds who sincerely seem to believe that dead rabbits are some type of strange, slothful bird. This almost singular stupidity also explains why Brazil is a world leader in the production of both tranny porn and bestiality porn. If you think that a man may or may not have a dick, you could easily think that a dead rabbit is a bird (though a less than majestic one). Likewise, if a chick doesn't blink twice when she is told to suck off a horse, she is probably lacking the savviness to distinguish dead mammal from bird. Incidentally, dead rabbit is also the national dish of Brazil, but for obvious reasons it is found under poultry in any self-respecting Brazilian cookbook. I know much of what I've written here seems harsh, perhaps even bigotted, but I assure you it is the truth. How else could the popularity of soccer in Brazil be explained if it weren't for the incredible stupidity of the average Brazilian. It also helps explain why anyone would be proud of being from such a destitute, crime-ridden country.
Rating:
n/a
Missile Defense 3-D
2007-03-28
From:
Phil McCracken
Comments:
No, I think your boyfriend gave you "the AIDS". The anus is for shit to come out, not for dicks to go in. Silly, sodomite.
Rating:
n/a
Wonder Boy in Monster Land
2006-08-18
From:
Phil McCracken
Comments:
I didn't recognize yo momma without my balls on her chin.
Rating:
n/a