T2: Judgement Day

2011-11-30
From: Joanna Kerns
Comments: Yeah, hey Kirk. Look, ever since this Sandusky thing blew up I've been trying to keep a low profile for, well, obvious reasons. Some years ago, after a junior highschool basketball game of Alan Thicke's son, Robert, I managed to suck more prepubescent cock than it took ol' Jerry 15 years to do. It might have taken place in Canada, so no laws were likely broken. Regardless, I'd rather not take any chances. For now, we don't know each other, OK? You can imagine my face smiling at you from the back of a dog's head for all I care. Grow a pair, already!!

Rating: n/a

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T2: Judgement Day

2011-11-30
From: Joanna Kerns
Comments: That was a beautiful story. You're lucky that you didn't get sick; that was more than just "woman" you were tasting. If you really want to be with me, renounce Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, right now in front of everyone here at the Sega Master System Museum. Admit that you've wasted the majority of your life believing in meaningless nonsense when you could have been enjoying cool things like video games and pornography. Do that, and I will put myself at your disposal. The ball is in your court, Kirk.

Rating: n/a

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T2: Judgement Day

2011-11-03
From: Joanna Kerns
Comments: The only Jesus I plan on inviting inside me this "Christmas" is the immigrant gardener who I let stay in my tool shed. He's cheaper and I don't have to listen to him go on and on about how great he is. Leave it to a Mexican to steal jobs from the Son of God himself, eh!

Rating: n/a

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T2: Judgement Day

2011-11-01
From: Joanna Kerns
Comments: lmfao!!! I campaigned to the writers long and hard to make you say it. How did I finally convince them to put that line in the script, you ask? Why, with a late-night, coke-fueled gangbang on top of the writers' table, of course! It was worth it to see the shameful look in your eyes and hear the sound of defeat in your squeaky voice. It was then that I realized that if I couldn't have you, I was going to do everything possible to make your life miserable. Problem is, I'm much more concerned with pleasing myself than hurting others. I attribute this to having a 3 inch clit, which when erect governs my entire decision making process. I just want to suck and fuck all the time. I guess you could say that I'm a lot like a guy that way, lol. And since you had no intention of giving up your virginity, I settled on taking Jeremy's and Boner's instead. (Sorry, Boner's real name slips my mind at the moment.) We all got what we wanted, in the end. You would have made one hell of a trophy, though, that I can't deny. I hope that your marriage to Chelsea improves. Maybe if you could bury your nose in something other than your bible once in a while, it will ;) I won't bug you any more, Kirk. Best wishes for a safe and happy holiday season! - Joanna

Rating: n/a

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T2: Judgement Day

2011-10-31
From: Joanna Kerns
Comments: Hi Kirk, it's your mom lol. How have you been? I see that you are still a bit of a religious nutjob. To be honest, I always knew that you were not quite right, mentally speaking. Behind the scenes on the set of "Growing Pains", you rejected every one of my sexual advances. Most teenage boys would have given their left nut to get a blow job from me, and many did so, all over my heaving bosom. You hadn't begun studying the bible yet, so I don't think that was the reason for your "holier than thou" attitude. You know what I think your problem is, Kirk? You are a narcissistic little prick who uses Christianity as a way to control how people feel about themselves! I'll see you in hell, asshole!!! R.I.P., Boner.

Rating: n/a

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